Howdy
and Please to Welcome You to the maiden voyage of our email thing
wherein we
will shamelessly try to foist our agenda of cheese, sauce and
what-not. Since you were among the first to say you were
interested, and so we
can figure out how badly we typed in your email addresses, we offer you this exclusive email only
offer.
Get Two 16" Large
1-Topping Shakespeare's Pizzas
(That's a total of (16"http://e2ma.net/2)X(16"http://e2ma.net/2)X3.141592654 = 402 Square
Inches of Pizza Goodness)
for only TWELVE BUCKS
(that's $17 off)
But You Must Have the
Password!
The catch:
- This offer's only good between Sunday, December 10th, at 11:12 am CST
and Thursday, December 14th, at 9:57 pm CST at either location.
- You HAVE to know the password.
Or know that there IS a
password. Or at least tell us that you were supposed to know
something, but you forgot what it was, but it had something to do with
a
computer.
- If you can, tip the poor counter kid or the delivery chump really goodly... you just saved 17 beans.
- WE GET BUSY. CALL EARLY. WE TAKE ADVANCE ORDERS.
- No, you can't combine this with other deals like the Add Sheet. One deal per order.
- Good only for In-House, Pick-up, or Delivery.
- Limit: 25 pairs of pizzas per order, unless you say please. (Can you say FINALS FOOD?) If
you
are ordering a lot, call ahead. Way ahead.
- We'd really like it if you ordered something else, too, like a beer or five or something,
because we are really loosing our arses on this one. I mean losing.
fineprintthat'sreallyprettynearlythesamesize:
Dine-In or Carryout or
Delivery Only. Limited delivery area, of course. Void where
prohibited and in St Charles. Applicable property, income and
sales
taxes extra. We reserve the right to have our rights
reserved. Pizza not for use in automatic coffee makers.
110-120VAC only.
Sponge NOT approved by the FDA for any use other than as directed.
There are no details, but you can see the store for them.
Offer
expires at 9:57pm CST on Thursday, December 14th. If pizzas begin
to smoke, emit 13kHz tones, or start to smell like a Booche's Western,
flee
the city immediately. We like pizza, and we like Leigh at Main
Squeeze. Especially the RSBCSBC that she took off the menu but
will still
make if you say please. Just remember, it's a BAG, not a
SACK. Don't ask.
Thank you for your attention in this matter.
We'll send out big cool deals like this from time to
time, but the ONLY way you will get the deal is if you know the password from the e-mail (are you a member of the email program thingy?). In the
meantime,
please check out this word from our sponsor, and please buy stuff:
HOLIDAY GIFTIES: Buy T-shirts and Sweatshirts and stuff for your friends
and
enemies. They are really cheap (in price, not quality). We also have gift
certificates, and soon gift cards.
QUANTITY DISCOUNTS: Nobody pays retail. Especially if you order a lot. 15% off on
orders of 8 or more 16" pies on the same order.
ORDER AHEAD:
Yes, we know we get busy. (We're the ones being busy.) Call
us a
day or week ahead, and we'll have your pie ready when you want.
So, while we don't take table reservations, we do take pizza
reservations.
Remember: It's the pizza, stupid.
And maybe the beer.
Everything else can fly.
Just remember to wash your hands before and after.
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