Dear Reader,

 

This weekend officially ends summer. Shall we have a moment of silence for the end of vacation and beach season?

 

Even though many people love summer because of all the great outdoor activities, like swimming, surfing and playing volleyball, I prefer fall. You can still do a lot of outdoor activities, but it's cool enough that you don't risk heat stroke.

 

A few of my favorites: sailing, inline skating, running and horseback riding.

 

In honor of the cooler, kinder weather headed our way, this e-zine focuses on activity. Specifically, how can active verbs improve your writing?

 

Read on, and let me know what you think.

 

M.

 

 

Let There Be Action

 

"To be or not to be?"

 

Ask any writing teacher or editor, and she'll definitely vote for the latter. And if you're in parochial school, you might get a rap across the knuckles just for asking.

 

Now, please don't misunderstand. I personally like this popular, highly useful verb. (In fact, it's the only one I currently know in Mandarin Chinese, which makes it my favorite during Monday-night language class.)

 

But it's commonly overused.

 

Limit your use of this verb, and your writing will improve dramatically.

 

While "to be" is a great little verb, it just sits there.

 

Subjects followed by this verb don't do--they exist. Like most pet cats.

 

But then, let's take a look at those pet cats. Specifically, allow me to introduce Idgie, our tiny sable Burmese. The following statement applies to her 20-plus hours out of the day:

 

    Idgie is on the bed.

 

Not very exciting, is it?

 

Chances are, though, she's probably doing something more remarkable than simply "being" on the bed. Perhaps she's snoring or purring or even twitching as she dreams of stalking spiders. Any of these verbs paints a more vivid picture than "to be" and your choice of adjectives.

 

Short, sweet active verbs pack a punch. Whenever you see a form of "to be" in your writing, try to replace the phrase with an active verb. You'll probably lose some words in the process--a good thing.

 

And if you're using passive verbs in the following manner--

 

   The package was delivered by the cute, dimpled blond.

 

--where the predicate actually acts on the subject . . . reverse the nouns immediately before someone sees you.

 

Do it. Now.

 

Seriously, use the following steps to inject more action into your writing:

 

• Print out your document and highlight or circle every form of "to be"--am, is, are, was, were.

Bobby is wonderful. Hayley and Alexis were cute.

• Replace the verb or phrase with a strong action verb--a picture word.

Bobby kissed my fingertips as he said good-by. Hayley and Alexis bounced on the sofa.

• Test your new sentence. Drop everything except the noun and the verb.

Bobby kissed. Hayley and Alexis bounced.

When you cut all the extra stuff, does your sentence still paint a picture? If so, you have a solid start.

Granted, not every sentence will thrill your readers or trigger an onslaught of images. But if you cut passivity where you can, more people will read what you have to say.

Back to the Bard, shall we?

 

In plain old modern English, our Danish prince is asking himself, "Live or die?"

 

Not nearly as poetic as the original. But it gets the point across much more quickly.

 

And when you're writing to sell, quick and clear communication is the rub.

 

See you in September.