May 8, 2008
Why mothers and martinis are alike; advice on motherhood; advice on
martinis
So tomatoes, this week’s special Mother’s Day column is
a semi-rerun from last year. We say semi, because we’ve updated it somewhat. And we tell you
this not because we think you’d actually remember reading it from a year ago, especially if you’re like The Three
Tomatoes and barely remember what you read in the papers this morning, but because we’d feel
guilty not mentioning it. It’s that darn Mother’s guilt thing. Our sidebar is all new and
includes news of our next Three Tomatoes
NYC Insider's event, which is June 9th. And we've got a free theater
ticket offer to see a new play, The Judas
Tree. See details at the end of this email.
So what's the answer to the burning question "Why are mothers and martinis
alike"? Well, it takes a while to make the perfect one; and the older you get the more you appreciate them. The Three
Tomatoes came to motherhood relatively young, and to martinis relatively late in life, which all in all worked out rather
well we think. So what better way to celebrate Mother's Day than by saluting "perfect" moms and "perfect" martinis, although we'd all most
likely agree the latter is a much simpler task.
The "Perfect" Mom
When The Three Tomatoes were growing up, the "perfect" Moms
were on TV in the form of June Cleaver and Donna Reed. These women were always dressed in their little pumps, with their little pearls, and perfect
little aprons, from morning to night and lived their lives according to The Good Wives Guide. The next
generation of course had The Brady Bunch and Partridge Family "perfect moms." And today's generation has "reality" TV Moms like the
new one that features Dina Lohan, mother of Lindsey, and her younger daughter. And let's not forget Carmella, mafia mom to the
Soprano's offspring who, when all is said and done, may actually be the best mom of them all. She's fiercely protective, always
supportive, tough on them when called for, and most importantly knows that when all else fails, a good plate of pasta cures all.
Now we know when your Mom passes away, there is a tendency to elevate her to
sainthood. But the truth is, our Moms weren't perfect -- thank goodness! And it's really the "imperfect" things that we most cherish
now. Especially after we became Moms and realized how tough this job called Mom really is. So to some of you younger Moms out there, who
are living that "imperfect" guilt thing, here's a little Mother's Day advice from The Three Tomatoes:
1. Your child will not be scarred for life because his/her public meltdown
led to your public meltdown. Yes, we know you thought you'd never be "one of those mothers" losing it in the middle of the super market aisle,
but just get over it. We did. They did.
2. Despite the "new" warnings that children under two years old
shouldn't watch TV, just remember most adult "children" under the age of forty grew up on Sesame Street and Barney and have turned
out just fine (except for the serial killers).
3. Buying store bought cookies at the last minute and
transferring them to a shoe box, and passing them off as homemade at the PTA bake sale may just save your sanity. Those other Moms
should get a life or a job.
4. That kid who keeps saying "You've ruined my life" will, believe it
or not, actually come to appreciate you and your imperfections....although do not expect this to happen until they're out of college and out of your
house (hopefully before they're 40.)
5. The things you feel guilty about, your kids
won’t even remember when you bring it up over dinner when they’ve reached their twenties. And then of course,
they’ll shock you with all the things they did that you didn’t know they did. So you’ll have new things to
feel guilty about, like where the heck were we when they were driving the family car around town at the age of 14.
6. And if all else fails, forget being the perfect Mom and learn
to make the perfect martini.
The Perfect Martini
There is just something so perfect and elegant about a martini that just
sipping one makes us feel like a flawed heroine out of a Fitzgerald or Hemingway novel, or preferably a James Bond girl. It's really
less about the actual drink than the seductiveness of the ritual -- the beautiful glass, the crisp look of the liquid, the gentle clink of the
glasses, and the delicate first sip -- that make the martini a wonderful little indulgent luxury. Much has been written about the martini over
the years, but two articles, one in the New York Times and one in the Wall St. Journal got our attention.
Eric Felten did a wonderful piece in the WSJ on "real martinis" versus just
about any cocktail poured into a martini glass and called a martini (like apple-tinis, cosmos, etc.). A real martini, according to a 1948
book he uncovered called "The Fine Art of Mixing Drinks," by David Embury, is gin
and vermouth, stirred, despite James Bond's preference for shaken. Used copies of this classic book by the way, start at $175 at Amazon if
you're looking for an unusual Mother's Day gift. Although Felten points out that it was common well into the 1930's to "douse one's "dry"
with a dash or two of orange bitters." Purist though he is, one of Felten's favorite "martinis" is from London's Savory hotel: 2 oz gin,
½ oz vermouth and ¼ oz Dubonnet (rouge).
And Eric Asimov, the restaurant critic for the New York Times, did
a very entertaining piece about his "80 martini lunch". It was a gin tasting event,
and he too points out that real martinis are made with gin, which he calls "the thinking person's spirit." So what's the difference
between gin and vodka? Asimov explains that gin is infused with botanicals, the most prominent of which is juniper berries, while vodka is
basically devoid of aroma or flavor. The ratio of gin to vermouth? About 4 parts gin to 1 part vermouth. We confess however, that we much prefer vodka, and a little olive juice too, and we like our martinis
shaken. So there you have it...the "imperfect martini for imperfect moms".
The Judas Tree - Email us and you could get tickets for Mother’s Day
Set in a Chicano neighborhood in 1958 Los Angeles and loosely based on the real life crimes of serial killer Dorothea Puente,
The Judas Tree conveys a film noir like
atmosphere that’s part courtroom drama and part macabre romance replete with a set of turbulent dancing corpses and Latin influenced
music. Directed by Lorca Peress, the show is getting great reviews. The three week run at the CSV Cultural Center
(lower East Side) ends with a special Mother’s Day Matinee on May 11th at 2PM. Thursday, Friday,and
Satuday performances are at 8 PM. Tickets are available at http://www.smarttix.com/. The third and fifth tomatoes who email us at tomato@thethreetomatoes.com will get two free tickets each.
So pour yourself a martini (gin, vodka, stirred or shaken) and hold your
glass high in a toast to all the imperfect Moms everywhere.
‘til next week,
The Three Tomatoes
Copyright©2008. The Three Tomatoes. All rights
reserved.
