Dear Friend,

Happy Valentine's Day! Yes, it's a Hallmark holiday designed to boost consumer spending. And sure, many of us have emotional scars from that grade-school practice of exchanging valentines that feature our favorite superhero or cartoon character. But it's a sweet thought... One that can still give even the most jaded among us a glimmer of hope.

If nothing else, it's a day to celebrate passion. And passion is certainly worth celebrating--even, or especially, if it has nothing to do with the opposite sex.

Last night, my friend engaged in a debate with a man who had no holiday plans for his wife of 30+ years. No dinner. No gift. Being married to him, he said with a twinkling eye, was gift enough. "Maybe so," she said, "but doing something special tomorrow would make the rest of the year much nicer."

She's a wise woman--part of the reason I love her so. And today's message offers tips on how to capture the spirit of this holiday year-round. Enjoy.

Mistina

P.S. Please let me know what you think: good, bad or indifferent. If you'd like me to cover a specific issue in the future, drop me a line, and I'll work it in. Thanks for reading.


What a Frenchman taught me

about seduction...

I recently received a package from Taiwan, collected with roughly 25 pounds of junk mail. As I sorted through flyers and catalogs, my boyfriend opened the package (at my request) and started reading aloud, "To her grace, Mistina Bates of Denville."

That got my attention.

I dropped my latest 0% interest credit-card offer in mid-tear and took the letter.

Turned out this wasn't a package I was expecting from my aunt. It was an order I had placed from Tea Masters, a blog on appreciating Chinese tea. The blogmaster, a Frenchman who moved to Taipei after marrying a Taiwanese woman, included a charming, flowery letter. His unusual phrases and sentence structures called to mind the sophisticated civility one can still find during afternoon tea at certain luxury hotels.

The quirky letter made me smile, and it enhanced my delight in receiving the actual order: a hand-carved bamboo tea box and tray. This special touch made the buying experience extraordinary. In short, my new contact completely seduced me--and converted a new customer into a loyal fan.

You don't have to write a long, eloquent letter to build this kind of rapport with clients. A short personal note--preferably handwritten--works wonderfully with customers, prospective clients (or employers), friends, family members...

The key is to make your audience feel special.

Think about it: Legendary lovers Casanova and Don Juan didn't woo scads of women by announcing their intentions to the general public. They made each maiden feel as if she were the most beautiful, desirable female on earth.

As much as I'd like to believe that Stéphane wrote that beautiful letter for me and me alone, I'm sure he didn't. But it doesn't make my purchasing experience less memorable or satisfying.

Starting today, set out on a personal campaign of seduction--not in the romantic sense (unless you want to try it with your significant other), but with the sole purpose of making others feel special.

Here's how to get started:

• Make a list of five people you appreciate. Include family members, co-workers, employees, customers, prospective clients... Anyone who has added something positive to your life.

• Write a short note. Don't worry about penmanship. Even a barely legible scrawl on pretty stationery makes a huge impression--and a pleasant surprise when sorting through junk mail.

• Be sincere. You don't have to write the Great American Novel. Express your appreciation in whatever way feels natural to you. The more your personality comes through, the stronger the connection to your reader will be. (For tips on discovering your writer's voice, send me an email with "writer's voice" in the subject line.)

• Repeat the above steps. Sending sincere notes of gratitude into the world truly unleashes the power of the pen. Try this personal communication in the next week, and see what magic you can create. (And please share your success stories with me. I'd love to include them in an upcoming e-zine.)