April 17, 2008
When did we grow up? Who cares about the Waverly Inn; Advice to Katie
Couric; Keeping those airplanes in flight, other phobias, and mad ramblings
The Three Tomatoes are not sure when this
happened. It’s this grown up thing that seems to have crept up on us, or maybe it’s more like things
we’ve outgrown (and we don’t mean just our size 6 jeans; okay and maybe the size 8s too.) Now this phenomenon is not
to be confused with the growing older thing. Those growing old signs are like flashing neon lights, they’re so in our faces, or on our faces as
the case may be. Like Nora Ephron, we too hate our necks, along with various other assorted body parts, and things
that flap and sag. The growing up thing is different. And it’s so much more insidious. But
basically we’ve discovered (suddenly) that there are a whole bunch of things we just don’t give a figs leaf about anymore.
Here are a few.
Those trendy restaurants
It started with the Waverly Inn, you know this season’s trendy Village spot that has the Hollywood A- listers popping in and
out of faster than a rehab center. We read an article recently that the phone number for reservations is
bogus. But if you’re desperate, you can always stop by in person and hope you can talk your way into a reservation.
There was a time when we would have been at the door in person. And then we suddenly realized in the middle of
reading the article, we don’t care if we ever go to the Waverly Inn. And that holds true for all those other
“hot” in-spots too. In fact these days, we only revere reservations at restaurants that have great food
and service and you can have a conversation. And we actually request the once-dreaded 6:30 reservation so we can be home by 9
PM. And for you younger tomatoes who are laughing at us now, we’re not talking the 4:30 Red Lobster
all you can eat buffet (we’re not dead yet), but places like Daniel’s at 6:30. But this is, of course, a
far cry from the days when we’d be too embarrassed to be caught eating out in any NYC restaurant before 8 PM.
No News at 11, or 6 either
We’re also no longer ashamed to admit we never see the 11 PM
news. And the only time we see Saturday Night Live, Letterman, and Leno these days is because
we’ve recorded them. But we should add, we rarely ever watch the early evening news either, which brings us to the
much maligned Katie Couric. For the record, we love Katie. And we really miss her in the
morning. Sure, what’s not to like about Meredith but she doesn’t have Katie’s spunk, wit, or smarts for that matter. And we’re not
sure how Katie went from being our favorite girl friend in the morning to the evil empire. Yes, we know part of it is that
bazillion dollar contract and hunky young boy friend, and nobody’s singing Don’t Cry for Me
Katie Couric, but come on now. Mother Theresa couldn’t save the evening news. And we don’t
care what network you tune into, the evening news is unwatchable. It’s not news at all, but fast video clips that would put
Cliff Notes to shame. In fact on the rare occasion we have tuned in to see Katie, we’ve rarely seen her because
there’s some clip on a ratings inspired topic like potential chemical leakages in plastic water bottles, that the network promo’d all
day, designed to stir up a short term consumer frenzy scare. And please CBS, don’t send her to 60
Minutes. That’s the TV equivalent of the Red Lobster buffet at 4:30. So here’s our little
note to Katie: take your bazillions, enjoy the hunky new guy, and go find something you really want to do! In
short, grow up.
We don’t need to wear yellow this spring
We also realized we’re going to feel in style this spring even if we
don’t buy or wear a single yellow item. We’ll be perfectly content not looking like a giant
Crayola. And the good news, is when next spring rolls around and yellow is so yesterday, we won’t have to throw out that big
yellow monster either.
And, while we’re actually at a place in our lives where we could afford to
buy this season’s latest $1200 + “it” bag, we don’t really want it. It was much more fun to lust after
it, really.
All those glamour magazines
So these days, we mostly read these while we’re getting our
pedicures. But there was a time we anxiously waited each month to buy the latest magazines that told us what was in and what
was out. Okay, so we’re not sure now if this is a growing up, or growing old thing, but here are a few of
the article titles we perused at the news stand recently that we just so did not care about:
“My quarter century
crisis” (by a Hollywood starlet). Hello? We have jeans older than her crisis!
“65 ways to do
“it”. Sixty five ways? Two or three work just fine for us.
“Twenty ways to cook
tofu”. We don’t care what they say, we’ve eaten steak at the Palm and tofu does not taste like
steak. Ever.
“Spring cleaning tips.” The tips we
wish someone would write about is how to actually get your housekeeper to vacuum under the beds, and dust the tops of high dressers.
Airplanes and other phobias
The last time we had fun on an air flight was about 1978 and we had somehow
gotten upgraded to first class and ended up in the cocktail lounge of a 747 plane enroute from New York to LA.
And yes, younger tomatoes these really did exist then. The statue of limitations has not run out yet, so let’s
just say we had a really great time and landed without out seat belts on. A far cry from air travel today.
We laughed our heads off at some of your responses to last week’s poll on the things you hate most about air travel,
and totally related to the tomato who is convinced that it is her personal diligence and prayers on the plane that keep it in the
air. And we thought it was us. Because it seems the “more grown up” we get, the less
we accept that concept of aerodynamics. That also goes for the safety of crossing bridges these days too, not to mention that
we’ve suddenly became acutely aware that the Midtown Tunnel goes under water! It’s not easy living
on an Island. And it’s been suggested (often by tomato husbands) that we put a bag over our head when we’re a front
seat car passenger these days too.
Oh my God. We have grown up, and we’ve become our
mothers! We’re getting palpitations just thinking about it.
Thanks goodness for martinis
Quick, shake those martinis. Well, all in all, we like
being women “who aren’t kids”. So here’s to being us, following our own paths, laughing at our
phobias, and perfectly dry martinis.
‘til next week,
The Three Tomatoes
Copyright©2008. The Three Tomatoes. All
rights reserved.
