November 16, 2006
Sick days, day time TV, husbands, air brushing and sprucing up your
image
Remember when you were a kid and you got sick on a school day? It
was the best. Mom would cater to your every need while you sat cuddled up on a couch eating trans-fatty Twinkies and watching
re-runs of “I Love Lucy.” And to be honest, every once in a while The Three Tomatoes admit to sort of hoping for one of those “old fashioned” sick days. But as they say, be
careful what you wish for. The Three Tomatoes (well not all of us course, so forgive the
“tomato we” language here, it’s just easier), were felled by a really yucky virus thing which did us in for several days. Our
biggest exertion was moving from the bed to the couch for a venue change and hitting the remote control buttons. And let us
just say this, grown up sick is not fun.
Let’s start with TV
We use to think of daytime TV as one of those rare little luxuries where you get to
watch all of the Today Show and Oprah. But after several days of TV watching from our sick bed, we have
concluded that day time TV should basically be blown up. Now, day one of our illness occurred on Election Day, so the only
thing on that day was the talking head pundits and the last wave of really bad political ads. In fact, the political ads are so bad that we
actually starting looking forward to all the holiday ads. Then day two was all the post election talking heads.
So it really wasn’t until day three, that the real horror of daytime TV set-in. So here are our reviews.
- The last hour of the Today
Show. Just put it out of its misery. The only good thing is that it delays getting to Martha.
- Martha Stewart. She
gets our vote for the most boring human being on the planet. She even managed to make Russel Crowe boring when he appeared
on her show.
- Megan Mullally. We
loved her on Will & Grace, where her whiny voice was funny. But now that she’s “sans
martinis”, she’s just irritating. Which proves once again, why martinis rule.
- Soap Operas. Hey, even
at our sickest, we didn’t sink that low.
- Oprah. A little
goes a long way.
- Ellen DeGeneres. The
best of the lot. And whose brilliant idea was it to put her on head to head with Oprah? Anyway, Ellen
gets our vote.
But all in all, we were really wishing for those “I Love Lucy”
re-runs. And the Twinkies too. Now we know why God invented day time jobs.
Well-meaning husbands
Now we all know that men are just pathetic when they get sick.
And we become their mothers. And well-intentioned as they are when we get sick, what men don’t understand is
that basically we just want to be left alone. Like, just as we’ve finally nodded off for a much deserved nap after a night
of no sleep, please do not call us on the phone to see how we’re doing. Oh, and telling us we’re cranky
doesn’t score any points either. And don’t compete with us on the who is sicker front. Yes,
tomatoes, right in the middle of our sickness, our tomato husband up and got food poisoning. Honestly, we have our
suspicions.
Lips2Hips to the
rescue.
Well by about day seven, cabin fever had set in and we were
actually excited about attending a black tie event we had on our calendar for that evening. And while we were
feeling a bit human again, we didn’t look it. We were desperate to get ourselves together, or at least looking a little
less Morticia-like. Off we went to the nail salon and the hair salon, but the circles under our eyes and our pastey looking
skin were a different story. It was time to bring in the big guns, or in this case the air brush gun.
So, we made a desperate phone call to Keren Bechor, founder of
Lips2Hips, a make up artist and image consultant who makes house calls in New York City. She showed up at
our apartment with her bag of tricks and her nifty make up airbrush tool, and an hour later we were renewed! This was our first
experience with airbrushing and we loved it. While we didn’t quite look like a magazine cover, the results are
terrific. Keren has been a makeup artist in the fashion industry for years, but what she really likes most is
helping “real women”, especially those of us who aren’t kids, look great.
Her mission, and one of the reasons she started
Lips2Hips is to make women look great naturally without resorting to plastic surgery.
When we asked her the biggest make-up mistakes that “older woman” make she said a) too much makeup; and b) the wrong
colors. So maybe it’s time to rethink those colors you’ve been wearing since 1974? Keren is
also an image consultant. Que pasa? Well, basically Keren will come to your home and into your closet. Scary as that may sound, she
will go through your wardrobe with you and help you determine your “colors” and basically what styles work for you and what styles
don’t. In as little as an hour and a half, she will whittle down your closet to the essentials.
Out with those size 6’s that you still delusionally think will fit one day; out with those “whatever was I thinking when I
bought this thing”; out with colors that are just not you. And at the end of the process, Keren says you will have
simplified your wardrobe and future clothes shopping will become so much easier because now you’ll know what colors and styles to buy and what
to avoid so that you will always look like one of those perfectly turned out women we all admire.
You can reach Keren at 917-757-6688 or via email kerenbechor@hotmail.com. Her fees are $70 for makeup application and $75 an hour for image
consulting. And if you tell her you were sent by The Three Tomatoes, you’ll get a 10% discount. Oh,
and watch the clowns in this year’s Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade - Keren did their makeup.
Well here’s to less is more, and no more sick days.
If you'd like to comment on this week's column, visit our blog, or email us tomato@thethreetomatoes.com
‘til next week,
The Three Tomatoes
Copyright©2006. The Three
Tomatoes. All rights reserved.
