In this
issue:
MomsRising
Have you visited http://www.momsrising.org/ yet? MomsRising.org. has a goal of bringing millions of people, who all share a common concern about
the need to build a more family-friendly America, together as a non-partisan force for 2008 and beyond. This grassroots, online effort is mobilizing
mothers, and all who have mothers, across America as a cohesive force for change. Based in part on the MoveOn.org organizing model (and
co-founded by Joan Blades, co-founder of MoveOn.org), MomsRising offers easy entry into citizen advocacy.
Once you're on the site, I recommend you order the book, The
Motherhood Manifesto, and the documentary by the same name. Be prepared to have your eyes opened, to feel outraged, and to get
involved.
Mojo Mom
Mojo Mom: Nurturing Your Self While Raising a Family, by Amy Tieman, is a
beautifully written, inspiring read that helps moms discover who they are, and how they can continue to share their talents with the
world, even while juggling the busy demands of family life.
Also check out the author's
great website and blog at http://www.mojomom.com/. And listen to my Parent Leader interview with Amy Tieman on her podcast as we talk about
the connections between parenting and leadership.
Make a habit of listening
One day, I conducted an eye-opening
experiment. I spent the day with my kids and kept track of each time my mind wandered away as they were speaking to me. I was startled to
find that I spent a good deal of time “pretend listening” as I thought of other “more pressing” concerns, like what would
I make for dinner when all we had in the refrigerator was three kinds of mustard and milk. I realized I had become startlingly skilled at
nodding at the right time and saying “uh huh” so that I got away with not listening, or at least I thought I did. Well, I
said to myself, I couldn’t possibly listen all day when I have a million things to think about. Excuses aside, the experiment was
sufficiently alarming. How much do we listen? Are we aware when our mind slips away? How does our sense of connection change
when we are really listening? What would the net results be, over time, if we listened better?
What I’ve found over the
years working with business leaders is that the best leaders want to listen. They are curious and able to put themselves in someone
else’s shoes. Simply put, they are truly interested in understanding the feelings of another human being.
If you watch good leaders, they
listen with their ears and eyes. They are curious about the feelings behind the words and what larger issues are at play. They listen for tone
and watch for body language. They listen to the “music” behind the words to get clues to the real issue at hand.
It will take time to break old habits, but I promise you a sizable
pay off if you do. You will not be less of a good parent if you tune out when your son explains, for the 17th time, the virtues of his favorite
Pokemon character. When your son and daughter are hollering at the same time, you go ahead and tune out. But face it,
there is room for improvement. To strengthen your listening skills and your connection with your child, take moments now and
again to reflect on the questions below. You will not only discover where your listening comes up short, you will also, just by virtue of
raising your awareness, begin listening and hearing in a whole new way.
Try monitoring your listening for just a couple of hours.
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Did I interrupt
before my child was finished speaking?
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Did I listen between
the lines in order to better understand?
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Was I curious about
what my child was saying?
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Did my mind wander while my child was speaking?
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Did I formulate my
response as my child was speaking?
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Did I ask questions
to gain a better understanding?
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Did I let my
emotions interfere with my ability to listen?
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Did I stop what I was doing to give my child my full attention?
New Workshop - Chidren and Conflict: Teaching Accountability
March 11
Oakland, CA 1:00-3:30
$50
Register at jamiewoolf@aol.com with name and phone
number
-
Learn questioning strategies that move conflict beyond blame
and excuses.
-
Discover ways to take advantage of sibling conflict as an
opportunity to foster accountability
-
Develop strategies to disengage from power struggles
-
Better understand the elements of conflict
-
Gain self-awarneness during conflict and foster your child's empathy and self-awareness
Look for other upcoming events at www.theparentleader.com
