April 20, 2006   Those Dangerous Silent Auctions   It's a wonderful time of the year.  Spring is here, the birdies are chirping, the tulips are a' blooming, and the "silent auctions" are in full swing.  As you know, the silent auction has become a mainstay at galas and fundraisers for all sorts of worthy non-profit organizations.  Here's what you don't know.  If you're having a silent auction, you want The Three Tomatoes there.  We've never met a silent auction we didn't love.  At least until the next morning.    The opportunity to shop and a desire to "win", fueled by alcohol, have led The Three Tomatoes to make some interesting purchases. You know the routine.  The silent auctions are almost always the center of a cocktail reception that's heavy on the cocktails, usually wine and champagne, and light on the food.  You arrive, are handed a drink and browse through the silent auction items, with a sort of take it or leave it attitude.  There may be one or two items that you "might" consider bidding on.   By the second glass of wine the "might" considers are becoming more attractive, particularly if there are other bidders involved.  By the third glass of wine, you've waged all out  war on your "competitors" who are bidding against you.  To illuminate how this usually goes, here are just a few items The Three Tomatoes have purchased at such events.   We once bought trapeze lessons as a gift for our husbands who we knew would just love to wear little leotards while hurling through the air. We once bought a year's pass to the movies and when we calculated our break-even the next day, realized we would have to go a movie every day.  And since 365 movies are not even released in a year, we'd have to see several more than once. We own a "designer" jacket which we fell in love with after the third glass of wine and were so intent on owning it that we outbid our "rival" in $100 increments even though the bidding called for $50 dollar increments.   Of  course the next day, we were convinced that someone sent us home with the "wrong" jacket.   We would never have bought anything so hideous. Then there were the cooking lessons that we outbid ourselves on; the Coach bag that was at least three seasons old; and the golf "goody bag" with invaluable items like golf tees and corporate logo balls that we paid $200 to acquire. We could go on but you get the drift.  At least we've been contributing to "worthy" causes.  (And please, do not write and tempt us with your groups' next silent auction, we just might show up.)   The other thing we like about cocktail party silent auctions is that it relives some of the stress of the dreaded cocktail party chit chat.  You know, the kind of mindless conversation with people who are chatting with you while furtively searching the room for some one "much more important" to talk to than you.  In fact, we recently read a very funny article where this was termed "CPS", or cocktail party syndrome.   At a recent function, we were introduced to a woman who has serious CPS, poor dear.   She managed to be introduced to us, shook hands, and moved on without ever once looking at us!   Maybe we should have a silent auction to raise money for CPS?    Happy Spring has Sprung. ‘til next week,   The Three Tomatoes       Copyright© 2006.  The Three Tomatoes.  All rights reserved.

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