Birthing From Within
Newsletter
May 2008
Breastfeeding From WithinTM is part of a larger project called
Parenting From WithinTM. If you would like to
share your story about how you "parent from within," write to: contact@birthingfromwithin.com.
Breastfeeding From Within
By Virginia Bobro
Birthing From Within encourages and teaches "doing the next best thing" when it comes to making decisions within the flow of labor and birth. The
same mind-set is important during postpartum and breastfeeding. In the days, weeks, months, and even years that a woman is breastfeeding, she will
face numerous obstacles, detours, and unexpected events. How she prepares prenatally and how she views these challenges can make a difference in her
ability to cope.
As a breastfeeding counselor, I support many breastfeeding mothers who have to change their perception of what a "successful" breastfeeding
relationship is. Some mothers need to wean much earlier than they hoped. Others need to supplement with bottles or formula. These are opportunities
to
re-envision what it means to nurture and nourish their babies. Many mothers are humbled when the "breastfeeding fairy" presents them with difficult
circumstances and spoils their fantasy that nursing is easy and blissful.
When breastfeeding does not go as expected or hoped for, a mother can feel regret, anger, blame, grief, and guilt. Inevitably, this negative
self-talk begins to affect her self-esteem and attitude, her ability to receive support, and her relationships with her baby, partner, and others in
her community.
So, what can be done?
In addition to learning practical things that make breastfeeding easier, do this:
♥ Learn and practice mindfulness.
The same pain-coping practices you learn to help you cope with labor can help you postpartum when you need to still your mind, quiet negative
self-talk and deal with physical discomfort and stress. (See Birthing From Within, pp. 213-238).
♥
Get a breastfeeding "reality check."
Breastfeeding is natural, but not always straightforward and easy. Very few women sail through breastfeeding on calm seas from beginning to end. Even
for the most vigilant captain, storms arise outside of her control, and still, she can do the next best thing. When women know that they can
influence
but not control what happens, they can see the wisdom of preparing for all possibilities.
♥ Set up your breastfeeding support system.
Having a supportive crew onboard in the first months of motherhood can make all the difference. Welcome meals,
errands, and compassionate listeners.
When breastfeeding gets rough, support is needed to keep going and not get mired in "what ifs" and judgment. You need to hear acknowledgment that you
are doing your best, not more advice and information.
♥
Focus on connecting with your baby and yourself as a mother
Come to breastfeeding with an open heart. To the degree that you can, let go of your ideals and goals, such as breastfeeding exclusively for six
months. Just hold the intention to do the best you can. When you love yourself and feed your baby in love, this is the heart of breastfeeding
from
within.
Virginia Bobro is a mother of three children (including twins), a board-certified lactation consultant (IBCLC), a
BIRTHING FROM WITHIN Mentor, Doula, Advisor and Workshop Facilitator, and was an accredited La Leche League Leader for ten years. She works with
families in Santa Barbara, California.
Selected Resources
The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding
by La Leche League Int'l
The Ultimate Breastfeeding Book of Answers
by Newman and Pitman
Bestfeeding: Getting Breastfeeding Right for You
by Renfrew, Fisher, and Arms
La Leche League International:
www.lalecheleague.org
International Lactation Consultant Association: www.ilca.org
Copyright 2008: Birthing From Within and Virginia Bobro.
May not be reproduced in any form without written permission.
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Doulas play with a rebozo at a
Birthing From Within Workshop
Workshop
Schedule
(which has up-to-date
info, prices
and registration info)
Pam England is planning a "Birth as a Hero's Journey" speaking tour across
North America in the next eight months.
Introduction to
Birthing From Within
Learn to "Mentor" parents and/or "Doula from Within" at our workshops for
people who care about birth!
Minneapolis, Minnesota
June 6-8,
2008
(Facilitated by Virginia Bobro)
STILL SPACE AT THIS
WORKSHOP!
Seattle/Kent, Washington
August 1-3,
2008
(Facilitated by Britta Bushnell & Virginia Bobro)
Berkeley, California
October 17-19,
2008
(Facilitated by Britta Bushnell & Virginia Bobro)
Planned for 2008 & 2009*:
Boston:
September 2008
Chicago: November 2008
South Africa: January 2009
Los Angeles: January 2009
Portland, Oregon: February 2009
Boulder, Colorado: April 2009
Australia
*As dates and locations are confirmed, they will be added to our online schedule
and store.
We hope you will join us at one of our inspiring, life-changing
workshops!
Mama mindfully breastfeeding her baby, who is wrapped in bili-lights and having her blood drawn.
EXERCISE: Feeding with Love
When sitting (or lying down) to feed your baby, try this:
Begin to notice all the sensations around you, beginning with your baby:
Look at her face, notice the touch of her skin, take in her smell and her sounds.
Then begin to bring your attention to your own body:
Where does your body touch your baby's body?
How is your breath moving in and out of your body?
Where do you feel relaxed and open?
Where does your body feel tight, tense, or closed?
Gently and mindfully breathe into those places, softening and releasing
anything that is unneeded in this moment. This may take several
minutes. Go
slowly and do not expect perfection!
As your body lets go of anything extra, feel your heart opening.
Allow yourself to inhale the presence of your baby, loving her in this moment and loving
yourself as well.
With each new breath, feel into your baby's heart, visualizing a connection that endures beyond feeding time.
If feeding is difficult, your focus may return to the task of latching
or monitoring the feed. Do what needs to be done, then, when you are
ready,
take another conscious breath and return to your opening heart.
Thank you for being a part of Birthing From Within!
We welcome your feedback,
stories
and ideas.
Pam England (Founder & Creative Director)
Virginia Bobro (Managing Director)
Britta Bushnell
(Mentor Program Director)
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